The Beast

Hey my name is John Bampton, well actually some people call me The Beast, The Beast 300+ Style (disclaimer number subject to change), The Beast T-721 (Prototype Series 721 Terminator - a shapeshifting Ruby Assassin) or just Beast for short. Deep down inside I’m a truly magical and wondrous Beast. I live in :sunny: BrisVegas, well that’s what we call Brisbane here and I worked for over 3.25 years on a large California :us: based software project (Thanks Barack my Main Man Obama for the paycheck, I can try to fit you into my calendar if you want to discuss all things Beast and world domination as I know you are an avid reader of my personal Beast website….!?!?!) in the energy sector. In fact a top California based sensei has trained The Beast in most of Ken’s Special Attacks.

I have a live by the keyboard, :computer: die by the keyboard, midnight commander :clock12: kind of attitude. Some of the important things in my life are The Jedi, Barnabus Barney Stinson, The Bro from Seinfeld….no soup for you, International Departures, ABGT, Menulog and Gandalf at dawn on the fifth day. I’ve seen the first five seasons of The Walking Dead and I sometimes enjoy :football: Friday Night Football and my favorite new toy is Atom where I am currently typing some of this.

On the 15th of October 2016 The Beast installed JRuby and now is very tempted to build something tall blonde and exotic with the saxon-xslt RubyGem…I mean The Beast slays with a powerful XSL and Ruby blended Lightsaber forged with PHP and JavaScript to create a weapon of mass destruction so powerful that is wielded with the most elegant (300) of touch…:boom::boom::boom::boom::sunglasses::neckbeard:. In the real world as well sometimes very smart people in California have to come all the way out to The Beast in Australia to get their problems solved…this general scenario is now commonly known now as: Bring Out The Beast !!!?!?!?!?!….one beard to rule them all ?!?!?!!

In the past I have used the The GNU Privacy Guard and TOR both in various forms including Orbot on my last Android phone.

Recently I have been eating more :banana::apple::rice_cracker::pear::cherries::lemon::peach::melon::tangerine::tomato::watermelon::pineapple::green_apple::corn::sweet_potato::grapes: and less :hamburger::pizza::fries::candy::beers::cookie::icecream::chocolate_bar::cake::lollipop::doughnut: and have managed to lose 4.4 kilograms at the last weigh in. But I still sometimes enjoy good :curry::rice: and the odd delicious :cocktail::tropical_drink: and a fine :woman: in a :bikini:….:dizzy::heartpulse::exclamation::exclamation:

At times the mandatory worship of Thaiways does occur and sometimes when I am on coding mission i run out of milk from drinking so much :coffee:. Already by August 2016 I have gone through (no longer using) two (1, 2) Android smart :watch: and I sometimes I like to watch the Apple live events. One of my favorite topics these days is :gem: or mostly RubyGems but a love affair for me is more like The Ruby Toolbox or and I also really love big fat whales the bigger the better and love it when a company shows me the money :moneybag::dollar::moneybag::dollar::moneybag::dollar::moneybag::dollar::moneybag::dollar::moneybag::dollar::moneybag::credit_card::red_car::house_with_garden::boat::speedboat::helicopter::airplane:

I built a mobile first responsive designed high powered analytics dashboard website produced mostly from Ruby and JavaScript and it had 18 webpages and 721 different 3D interactive pie charts. The data for the 721 charts was obtained from text data mining and grouping data in many different ways to produce a powerful visual analytics solution. Regular expressions and concatenation were also used in some parts of the analytics dashboard script along with Google charts JavaScript library to render the charts.

Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock Barack Obama’s top take down man once tried to ambush The Beast in an attempt to win his first round against The Beast in the ongoing battle between Barack Obama’s two first men…?!?!? In this instance The Beast outsmarted The Rock with a simple Street Fighter Sonic Boom…!?!?!? The Beast offered to parley with The Rock and offered him intensive training in computational mathematics so that The Rock could reach his highest potential…?!?!?!!!

A top secret source at Microsoft told me that the recent Skype hacking was traced back to an elite special forces style hacker whose handle was #Obama with obvious US government military technology backing. At first the obvious candidate for the cyber criminal was Brucey Willis (also known as John McClane) with his decorated USA commando military experience and knowledge of terrorism in general and his general non stop take on 15 guys at once without breaking a sweat attitude Bruce Lee Style….!??!?!

So by now you must already be thinking, wow The Beast also has a Jekyll powered GitHub Pages blog with kramdown so he must LOVE :kiss::heart: Ruby…. :bowtie::star::sparkles::muscle::muscle::fist::fist::facepunch::collision::facepunch::boom::exclamation::exclamation:

Some of the cool tech I am interested in or I know about

Tech I have been learning about recently

Places I have worked

Places I have worked (a long time ago unsure of dates) non-IT jobs

I sometimes manage to find work here - I against the millions…?!?!??!!

edX Certificates

DataCamp Certificates

Career Tracks

Skill Tracks


Kung Fu Training, Praying Mantis Style, Channeling The Inner Beast

A growing list of tools or software I have used

Ruby Tech I have used

Some of my favorite programs

Some Android apps I like

Brand Consulting

The Beast Style Usability Testing

Hello James D Packer…!??!?!?!!!?!

GitHub Resume


Some of my favorite websites

Codewars authored kata

The Beast Style

Honor Breakdown

Up Votes

Hey Ladies, A Large Powerful Cloc v 1.64  T=36.96 s (88.3 files/s, 76652.3 lines/s)
Language                     files          blank        comment           code
XML                            667            555           1912         958820
XSD                           1372         119828             65         942581
XSLT                          1021          19374           2552         617907
HTML                            63           5672            234         124866
Javascript                      34           3978           2671          18618
CSS                              4              7             24           7326
Ruby                            31            348            146           1874
Visual Basic                    22            302            388           1210
XQuery                          12            152              4            992
MSBuild script                   4              0             28            456
JSON                             9              0              0            228
ASP.Net                          6              0              0            126
DOS Batch                       16              0              0             48
YAML                             3              9              0             30
Python                           1              5              0             27
SUM:                          3265         150230           8024        2675109